I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
