she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
