she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
