Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
