these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
