i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
