Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
