kristin has been a bad kristin
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
