lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
