Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
