Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
