you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
