Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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