need another drink. this is the easiest way
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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