I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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