that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
