i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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