You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do vagina's smell?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize