please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
