Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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