You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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