You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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