my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
