so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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