He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
