so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
