I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
