Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
