Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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