I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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