Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
