i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
