At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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