hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
