I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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