weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
