Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
