I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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