One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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