Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
