then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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