I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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