But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ugly people sure do ruin things
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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