so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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