Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
