We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i think my cat just said my name.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
