The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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