sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
