Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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