Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
