I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
