yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
