I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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