Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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