...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
