And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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