This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this will be a night to untag.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
