She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
