I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
