Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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