Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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