Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
